Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Slimmer this Summer Challenge ~ Big Decision

For the past few weeks, I've really been struggling with keeping focused on my goals.  I've been moody, anxious and lazy.  All of that equals ZERO motivation, ZERO discipline and ZERO self-control. 

Last week, I couldn't find the time or energy to even bother to post a weekly update.  Even now, I am seriously late in getting this posted. 

I feel as if I am seriously letting my fellow Slimmer this Summer Challengers down.  Not only am I slacking in keeping up with my own goals, I am failing my fellow challengers by not being available to show support and encouragement. 

For me, every day feels like a constant struggle to find time for myself.  Time completely to myself.  Without interruptions.  It seems as if each time I sit down to journal my food, Grace is dragging me off to do something else.  In recent weeks, she's been very grabby and demanding.  She's constantly pulling and grabbing at my hands, trying to drag me here or there.  It's frustrating.  Each interruption, causes me to lose focus. 

Feeling like a quitter and a failure is causing me to be depressed and anxious.  Which then causes me to want to give in to my old, emotional eating habits. 

On one hand, I feel that it is only fair to drop out of the challenge due to lack of motivation and will-power. 

On the other hand, Joe took a picture of Grace on Saturday and I ended up in the photo as well.  I am devastated by what I see in that photo.  (I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable sharing the photo at this time.)

But is that devastation enough to keep me going in the challenge?  I don't know. 

Right now, I want to share some numbers with you.  Numbers that will show you all my weight each week.  My actual weight.  Not the number I still wish to lose, but the actual starting weight.  The current weight and also the weeks in between.  Maybe seeing the numbers in print will help me make the decision on if I should continue with the challenge or just drop out (and try to continue to lose on my own). 

The numbers below that are highlighted in red, show gains for those weeks: 

  • June 1st:  198.6 lbs.

  • June 6th:  197.4 (official challenge start)

  • June 12th:  193.4

  • June 19th:  193

  • June 26th:  190.6

  • July 3rd:   191.4

  • July 12th:  189.6

  • July 18th:  191.4

  • July 25th:  190

Somehow, this past week, I managed to see a 1.4 lb. loss.  More than a pound!  I really cannot believe it.  I'm sure a gain will somehow find it's way to show itself week, even though I have a busy week planned.  Busy weeks are usually bad for me.  Since when I am busy I grab whatever is handy without considering if it's a good choice or not. 

Please, I need your help in deciding what I should do.  Continue (with minimal participation) or drop out completely?

As I finish this post, it's 1:00 am  on Tuesday morning and I cannot keep my eyes open any longer. 

Goodnight friends. 


Unknown said...

I think that you are losing at an acceptable rate. As to whether you should stay in the challenge or not is something you need to to decide for yourself. I find challenges motivation, and they help me stay on track... other people find themselves so distracted by feeling like the MUST participate in every part that they can't focus on what is truly important to them. Whichever you choose to do, I'll continue following your blog and wishing you the best.

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

ok, so you started this challenge 8 1/2 lbs. higher than you were right now, right? Do you think without this challenge you would have had the motivation to lose those 8 1/2 lbs.? Maybe, maybe not. Do you think you will INCREASE your motivation to lose weight by dropping out of the challenge? The challenge only rund a few more weeks, after that it will be up to you to decide whether or not to continue on your weight loss. Even if you don't lose much or anything, just sticking with the challenge will help keep your mind on weight loss. THAT HELPS. I know it does. I've been stinking this summer too, I'm ashamed. I just know that without the challenge, I would have done MUCH worse!

Keep your chin up, stay postive and don't quit!

Natasha said...

I think the weight that you have lost in this challenge is great. It's 8 1/2 pounds that you don't have now that you did when we started.

I don't see how dropping out has any benefits at all. I've been struggling the past few weeks as well but I always have the challenge in the back of my mind and that has helped me make the better decision a few times.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, you have to do what is best for you. But when you really look at it, staying in the challenge and continuing with your goals does seem to be what is best. You are worth it in so many ways. Don't feel like you're letting all of us down - we've all struggled too but don't quit! 8.5 is a good loss, a very good loss.

gracies tough journey said...

I wish my loss was that good. We are here for you either way. Keep your chin up! Gracie

MB said...

Please don't quit! Stay in the challenge and keep doing what you can do to get you closer to your goals.

You are not disappointing anyone, except maybe yourself, because we are ALWAYS harder on ourselves than we would ever be to anyone else.

By staying involved in the challenge you may just find some inspiration and motivation to get back in the groove or help someone else who is dealing with the same sort of struggles.

I struggled for so many years and many times thought about giving up the fight but, thankfully, I didn't do that. It isn't all about the number of pounds lost but the things we learn along the way.

Hang in there and stay strong. Keep the faith! You can do it!!!

Lbuerger said...

I think your progress is at a healthy rate. Everyone wants to lose the weight fast and watch it fall off. But, losing it slowly actually will be better in the long run. I don't know what it's like having a little one running around but think about the positive, you have lose 8 and a half pounds. Every week may not be a loss but the overall picture is that you are losing the weight. I am usually a silent reader but I want you to know that I am rooting for you and I think you can lose the weight you want, with or without the challenge.

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